Slowing Down
At this halfway point in the year 2009, I thought it might be a good time to visit where I've been and look ahead to where I'm going with my reading. As you know, I'm a huge fan of reading projects, both dated and perpetual. I made an attempt to reign myself in this year by making the books I selected to read count for as many challenges as possible. I feel as though I did a reasonably good job and continue to select books to read from the challenge lists. What I am finally realizing (and harder yet, admitting to myself), though, is that I am actually caught up in a numbers game. I am obsessed with the number of books I read and how many of those books I can tick off of a list. Because of this, I find myself reading through as many books as I can and eagerly looking at my spreadsheets from previous years to see how the numbers compare. Will I read 100 books this year? Will I read more than last year...two years ago...etc.? It is an adrenaline rush when I realize I'm 12-13 books ahead of where I was at this same time a few years ago. I suppose that is good if I was in competition with myself, but is that really what I want to get out of my reading?
My thoughts have been turning in this direction because the month of May was my best reading month ever (or at least since I've been keeping track) with 11 books. The month of June, on the other hand, rained on my parade as I was only able to complete 2 books, an all-time monthly low. Talk about eating some humble pie! Since then, I've been thinking about my purpose for reading. Is it to compete with myself in challenges and watch the numbers rise? Or is it to learn something about a culture, a time, an event, human nature, and not to mention my personal enjoyment? I really think it is the latter, which leads me to another train of thought: I really don't know the best way to get as much out of my reading as I possibly can. I don't have a formal degree in literature, but I do have several books pertaining to this subject at my disposal. It is high time I made use of them. There is no reason for me not to pursue self-education. Most of all, though, I need to slow down and stop worrying about where I will be at the end of the month/year.
Does this mean I need to give up challenges and projects? No. But it does mean that I can feel just fine if I don't complete them. I sincerely hope I will be able to do this - to slow down and savor my reading while improving my understanding about what I am reading. That is my focus for the remainder of 2009 (and beyond).

